Weight Insecurities

My greatest fear has always been my weight. honestly! I have been literally every size the scale can check except obese. over the years, its been most challenging. my perfect US6 had its time lapse, then, i bounced to a 10 then a 12 and so on it goes. I mean, i look around me and see skinny beautiful models and look at myself and find a reason to dislike what i see in the mirror. 

Curvy? now an acceptable term for women all over the world. society is slowly recognizing all shapes and sizes in the fashion world. then again what about the health world? Dangerous and killing are only a few words to describe being over weight. being told this so many times i have come to realize the benefits of not being fat. i mean, apart from how easy it would be shopping it increases your life span. healthy in my dictionary is the new size (*wink*). 

Staying healthy is the motto of the month. Yeah its difficult, but it is not impossible. Do not beat yourself down and claim you are to be loved no matter how you look. Who says you can not make yourself more loved? excuses grow fat. simple and factual. Even if you do not want to exercise, start from somewhere. Let us cut down that portion of food to half :)

Slow walks around the block helps burn fat even if you do not see it.....slow and steady wins the race! NEVER FORGET THAT. 

TRENDS???

what is the trend of today?

who cares? it changes! we all know change is inevitable. so why do we try everyday to succumb to the norm of society?
what an enigma! 
i will confess, i am victim. i have submitted to making sure i am up to date with society and i fit in perfectly.
does it make me happy? deff!
why? i do not even understand that myself, yet, i do it. 
i believe a research has to be undertaken to answer these confusing questions.

back to the main question........what is the trend of today?
after like what could have been 2 minutes of asking google(OMG...HOW EXHAUSTING)

1. GAME OF THRONES WON AN EMMY
2. EMPIRE S2
3. SHORT BRAIDS 
4. WHITE OR GREY HAIR (BRAIDS AND WEAVES)
5. FASHION WEEK
6. KYLIE AND TYGA OFFICIAL
7. IPHONE 6S
8. MTV FAN WARS BELIEBER
9. SCREAM QUEENS
10. THE WEEKND- BEAUTY BEHIND THE MADNESS


























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WAYS OF LIFE

When you sit down to think about your life
Who do you see in it?
When you think about your future
What do you see yourself doing?
When you think of your friend
Who do you see yourself with?
When you feel sad
Who uplifts you?
When you are happy
Who motivated you?
When you are lonely
Who kept you company?
When in need
Who provided for you?

Learn to live for every moment.
Learn to love and appreciate family and friends.
Learn to be tolerant.
Learn to appreciate 
Learn to actually be happy

i have arrived at a place 
-where i no longer hate myself 
-where i am no longer scared
-where i love my body and lack insecurities

Life has a way of surrounding you with all sorts of people
It's left to you to eradicate the negativity and live in positivity.

a shot by midnight

Heat and fire, her life hanging on a piece of wire
Clinging for every breadth, staring clearly at the face of death
Seconds pass and the clock ticks, she fades out quickly getting weak
The final hour has come, time to black out
Let’s begin to mourn…….

Tall, handsome, rich and powerful were only the few traits tony possessed that made him the eye candy of every woman. Still in his early thirties, tony had become a widower. No one knew exactly what happened to the beautiful Cassandra, but, as it resulted the world woke up the next day and Cassandra was no more. As charming as tony seemed, no one knew his ulterior motives, his taste for gentlemen and whether or not he was the person who killed his wife.

The tragedy started in the late night of their 5th anniversary, December 17th 2000. The whole household was aware Tony and Cassandra had been having minor arguments over the past weeks. The argument took a different turn when Cassandra decided to confront tony about his affairs which she suspected he was having. Tony being very short tempered man denied everything until Cassandra proved him wrong by showing him hard evidence.

“Tony, you make me sick’’ she said as she threw the documents at him.
“How did you get these?” Tony asked looking terrified.

 She explained to him how she had hired a private detective to follow him around and notify her of his marital shenanigans. She gave him the pictures and too much disgust, his sexual partner turned out to be a man who had been his business partner and old time friend Steven. Cassandra was so frustrated and betrayed that she threatened to expose him to the world. Tony got very angry and scared that he began to strike her. As helpless as Cassandra was, she still managed to defend herself. She had stored a fully loaded gun in the kitchen cabinet. As tony beat her mercilessly, Cassandra managed to get up and make a run for the kitchen where she reached for where her gun was. As she brought it out and pointed it straight at Tony’s face.

“I never meant for it to end this way Anthony” Cassandra sobbed.

Just as she was about to pull the trigger, a shot was fired, but, not from Cassandra. As tony turned around to see who fired the shot, there stood Steven from the back door. He had shot Cassandra. Tony who was scared looked at the clock to be sure what time it was.

“Midnight” tony gasped. He was sure someone, somewhere heard that gunshot and probably woke up.
As Cassandra’s body slumped to the ground, tony and Steven stared at each other. Steven pulled tony into a hug and whispered

“Everything will be alright my love”.

Terrified, lonely and sad; tony knew his life was about to change forever and there was no turning back. They came up with a plan on how they would get rid of her body and break a false means of her death.